It’s easy to start a healthy daily habit. It’s much more difficult to stick to it over the years. I’ve seen many Ashtanga practitioners get overexcited about the practice at the beginning, show up with extreme motivation for a few months, or even years, then quit.
I get it. This practice is hard. It asks so much from you. Early mornings, daily struggle, elusive asanas, coming to terms with repetition and lack of novelty, progress that’s often slow if not non-existent. Also, if you stick to it long enough, the practice starts showing you parts of yourself you don’t necessarily want to see. At those moments, it’s much easier to quit and switch to something more agreeable, less unsettling, and easier.
Often enough, friends and students ask me why I still practice after all these years. Was it always easy for me? Do I enjoy it every single day? Why not try something else instead?
This is an attempt to put into words why this practice means so much to me and why I wouldn’t trade it for anything else.
I still practice because…
- Ashtanga healed my body. Both chronic back pain and persistent digestive issues that were bothering me for years were resolved with just a daily practice.
- The feeling after practice is divine. Exhilaration, sacred emptiness, euphoria. Nothing else ever gave me this, and I don’t think anything else ever will.
- Ashtanga gave me confidence. When I started, I was convinced my body was not made for it, and I struggled a lot. But over time and with consistent effort, the impossible became possible more times than I can count. This practice showed me that the limits we set for ourselves often exist only in our minds.
- It taught me discipline. Until then, I was someone who would quit whenever things got hard. I didn’t have strong willpower. Embracing the struggle and getting better every day showed me how important it is to stick around and let hardship forge your character.
- The practice pushed me to make better choices: sleep early, say goodbye to alcohol, respect and properly nourish my body, pick carefully who I surround myself with. Before, I was just wasting my energy left and right. Now, finally, I have a direction.
- This practice is the only thing that makes the noise in my mind stop. The daily ritual gives me a sense of safety and keeps my anxiety in check. Practice puts everything in perspective and shows me how unnecessary so many of my worries are.
- Ashtanga practice reflects back to me all my habits, patterns and weaknesses; fear, insecurity, perfectionism, the tendency to beat myself up—they’re all out there in the open. If you know your demons, you have a chance to face them head on.
- It offered me the treasure of yoga philosophy. I found so much truth in there, and no matter how many times I’ve read the ancient texts by now, I keep finding fragments of wisdom that lighten my path.
- This practice softened me. Before I found Ashtanga, my life was all about being competitive, being the best and keeping others at arm’s length. Through the practice of yoga I learned to appreciate myself and others for who they really are, not who they’re told they should be.
- It offered me a beautiful community of fellow practitioners I can connect with without having to explain myself. The feeling of belonging, of being understood, of shared love and vision is deeply empowering. I never had that before.
- Ashtanga led me to Mysore, India, in which I found another home. Even as I child I was very drawn to India without really knowing the reason. I just knew I needed to go there. Now I know why.
- The love for the practice led me to teach and in teaching I found the purpose I had been looking for for years. Sharing the treasures of yoga with others is a blessing I will forever be grateful for.
- Ashtanga Yoga saved me in the most difficult moments of my life. It helped me overcome grief more than once. It kept me sane while all the voices in my head were telling me to quit everything and just feel sorry for myself.
When I started a daily Ashtanga practice a bit over a decade ago, I immediately knew it was the right practice for me. I knew it was going to be hard, but I also knew I needed to stick around. So I made a promise to myself and a vow to the practice to never, ever quit.
Having made that promise makes it easier to step onto my mat every morning. It makes it easier to embrace the struggle of it all and even learn to love it. In that promise, I find the motivation and faith necessary to keep going, day after day, year after year. It’s a promise I intend to keep for as long as I have a body that obeys me and a breath that’s strong enough.
